Thursday, July 5, 2007
By EVELYN SHIH
STAFF WRITER
The summer she was 16, everything changed for Joanna Paliouras. Her parents sent her on a trans-Atlantic flight, all by herself, back to the country where they had been born.
"My uncle said maybe you should see more of Greece and learn to love it," said the Closter mother of three. "And that's what happened."
Paliouras' childhood impressions of Greece were slightly terrifying, formed by time spent on her grandmother's farm, where dinner was alive and eating in the back yard just hours before making it to the table. It was only after that transforming summer, traveling across the ancient nation as a young adult and seeing the breadth of cultural heritage it had to offer, that Paliouras had a change of heart.
"It became more of what I wanted," said Paliouras. "As a parent it's what I want for my kids as well."
Joanna and her native Greek husband, Dimitrios, now take their three young sons to Greece yearly. They are one of the many local couples that dedicate time -- and significant plane ticket money -- to a yearly pilgrimage back to their country of origin. Whether the parents are first-generation immigrants, second generation or even further removed, the goal is to pass on a deep-seated love for a tradition and a way of life that complement the American way of life.
Poland-bound
This summer, Kasia Krzoska, 18, will be picking up the baton from her native Polish parents Beata and Leszek. In late July, the Upper Saddle River native will be charting her own trip across Europe, spending a significant amount of time at a village near Krakow, Poland, where her step-grandmother lives.
She will also be acting as tour guide for a daughter of a family friend, a Polish-American girl her own age.
"I'm just excited to show her everything, because she's only been [to Poland] once, when she was much younger," said Kasia, who is now an old hand at travel. At the tender age of 7, she traveled alone under the protection of a stewardess and spent the summer with an aunt she barely knew near Krakow.
Kasia will be the first to tell you that a certain double vision -- seeing American life in one eye and a different life in another -- is a unique side effect of growing up with summers abroad.
"Whenever I would visit Poland I felt like I was almost living a double life," she said of the different social atmosphere. It was not until 10th grade that she came to terms with her layered national identity. "I tried to cut out the attitude that I had in Europe when I was here [in America] and tried to fit in with the mainstream American high school attitude and behavior," she explained. "Now I can tell you it honestly doesn't matter what environment I'm in: I'm proud of my roots."
The stamp of worldliness is difficult to wash off, said Anju Ahuja, a first-generation Indian mother in Closter. "They have realized that life is not a bed of roses," she said of her son, 19, her daughter, 18, and her youngest son, 8, all of whom have gone on annual trips to India. "There's so many people that have nothing, and yet somehow get through the day. ... I think it has to do with who they are, and the kindness and compassion in their hearts.
"And they are more in touch in their culture," she added.
Intangible connection
Summering in the homeland is a way of staying in touch with family members still living in the old country, but it's also a way of showing the next generation a different worldview that informs their parents' lives. While language skills may vary -- Kasia speaks Polish more fluently than her younger brothers, says mother Beata Krzoska -- it's the intangible feeling of connection to a place that is most precious.
"The first few days when I go to Poland, it feels strange to me," admits Kasia. "At first I miss the U.S. a little bit, and then at the end I don't want to come back. ... I'm looking forward to going back to Poland and having that feeling of ... feeling at home."
Meanwhile, the Paliourases labor on, hoping to foster a similar love for Greece in their young sons Pantelis, 8, Alexandros, 4, and Aristotelis, 18 months. The older boys attend Greek language school twice a week, and the whole family participates in Greek gatherings and festivals in their North Jersey community.
But without a doubt, the trips to Greece do the most to reconnect their children with family and culture, said Joanna Paliouras. Those summer stays began when the boys were mere infants. In Greece, they eat their fill of souvlaki and feta, dance at impromptu family gatherings and celebrate their saints' name days. And of course they speak fluent Greek with their cousins.
By bringing them to Greece early in their lives, Joanna Paliouras hopes to spare them the sudden culture shock she experienced at age 8, during the first trip to Greece she can remember.
"My grandparents were used to going out in the back, grabbing a chicken and killing it for a meal," she said. To this day, she cannot bring herself to eat lamb from the spit at Greek festivals.
E-mail: shih@northjersey.com
Copyright © 2007 North Jersey Media Group Inc.
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