Last Updated Sunday February 3, 2008, PST 7:45 AM
Are you ready for some football?
Shortly after 6:17 tonight, the Giants face off against the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl. A Big Blue victory would be one of the biggest upsets in postseason football history and surely warm the hearts of many Giants fans.
Here's an important question: Are North Jersey pigskin fans ready for life after football? Especially if – and we say this in the most hushed of tones and with the utmost reverence for our hometown heroes – their beloved Giants lose?
Believing that wearing the same unwashed team jersey every weekend will keep a winning streak alive never hurt anyone -- although it may cause those with more delicate noses to leave the room when you enter. But marriages, family ties and mental balance may all be in jeopardy if you see exclusively through the blue-tinted glasses of Giants mania 24/7.
"It's like religion," said sports psychiatrist Dr. Ronald Kamm of Oakhurst, describing the human fascination with sports. "You're part of something bigger than yourself."
Don't forget your other
As a result, psychiatrists offer the following advice: It's important to take a step back and realize it's just a game. Life will go on tomorrow. And you need to be mindful of your significant other (it's almost always a wife or girlfriend), including the weekends when you're MIA, feeding your sports obsession.
But that's easier said that done. A highly identified fan – or HIF in sports psychology jargon – may become estranged from loved ones when the emotional roller coaster of game-watching gets too addictive. Not only do some fans spend too much time watching, but their mood also will be affected for days afterward.
"If the team loses in a particularly gut-wrenching way, they can be depressed for a day or two," said Kamm. "Whereas if the team surprises them with a win, their chest puffs out, they're in a good mood for days."
For Philip Zito of Nutley, watching a Giants game can be more painful than going to work on Monday, and it's not because this true-blue fan is afraid his G-men will lose.
"Even sometimes when they win – it's what they put you through to get there," he said. The win over the Green Bay Packers two Sundays ago, for example, played out in a series of preventable errors before the final victory.
When the Giants do lose, it matters how they lose. "It either bothers me for five minutes because they got slaughtered and were never in it," Zito explained, "or it bothers me for two days because they screwed up."
Give him space
Women attached to men who are HIFs need to be understanding if postgame depression hits, said Dr. Richard Drobnick of Teaneck. Drobnick's clinic practices the philosophy of his mentor, Dr. John Gray, best-selling author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."
"If a man feels that depression, a man may need 'cave time,' " Drobnick said. "He may need some alone time to deal with the loss of his team. And for a while a woman should not run after him to talk about it because it will make him feel worse. ... A woman has trouble understanding this, because when a woman talks about her problems, she feels better, which is opposite of a man."
But there comes a time when a lady in waiting needs to kick down the door. "He can't just go into his cave and stay in there," Drobnick said.
Unless he is, in fact, a bona fide cave man, a mourning male fan should tell his significant other that he needs time alone. After he returns to his normal state of emotional balance, he should make up for his time away by being an attentive mate, advised Drobnick.
Bouncing back
Some Giants fans, however, won't have the luxury of that buffer time.
"I don't shut down for three days," said Capt. John McLoughlin of the Englewood Fire Department, an avid fan. "In the fire business, you have to keep everything in perspective. Twenty minutes after a game you get calls for house fires."
Nevertheless, the reality of his job doesn't stop him from buying season tickets every year and spending 10 hours at the stadium tailgating and screaming along with other true-blue fans.
Men aren't the only ones who fall into fanaticism, but female fans are less likely to wrap their egos in the fortunes of their favorite teams, said Drobnick.
"If a man is obsessed with sports to the point that it takes him away from his girlfriend or wife, she'll feel like she's low on his list of priorities," he said. The long-term cost of a man pulling away from his significant other to watch sports games can be resentment on the part of the woman. While men may see a big event like the Super Bowl as a chance to go all out with their fanaticism, it may in fact be the last straw for their chronically frustrated partners.
Family bonding
What superfans need to do is find a way to balance their loves.
Fathers and sons and growing numbers of fathers and daughters may find national sports a good way to bridge generation gaps and even physical distance, Kamm said. In fact, the sports team you support may have more to do with whom your family supports than where you live. Joining together against a common enemy is a fun way to connect.
Paul Sarlo, assistant majority leader in the New Jersey Senate, agrees that watching sports can be healthy recreation.
"The economy is perhaps close to being in a recession," he said. "There are health-care issues. There are so many things on people's minds in this day and age. [Sports] takes their minds off some of the other stuff that is happening around them that may be stressful."
Despite the fact that he is a Wood-Ridge native who ushered at the Meadowlands as a college kid, Sarlo has to keep his head in the game of politics. Should the Giants lose, he won't have the luxury of cave time. But the senator, like most Giants fans, will be connecting with family through football this weekend.
"My 7-year-old son is just getting into it," he said, "so I'm excited to watch it with him."
E-mail: shih@northjersey.com
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